So we have this NBA star that is coming to the bakery. Melo? Carmelo? WHY is he named after candy?! I don’t keep track of basketball. Or baseball or football for that matter. Forgive me?

Anyway, it should still be pretty cool. Carmelo, akin to Laura, will be making his own cake. Only this time it will be less cute, and also Carmelo won’t know it’s his cake.

There is “Weird Paste” at the bakery. It is not real gumpaste, as it does not dry. In 24 hours, it is still rubber. Mary Alice thinks it is the result of an alien invasion. Ben thinks that it’s a cross between fondant and gumpaste.

Also there is a “crazy jazz pianist” and a dancer getting married. He is the pianist, she the dancer. Their cake will feature her dancing on a piano. Sounds really cool!

ANOTHER MILITARY CAKE? It’s the USS Carny (spelling, how?). It’s a naval destroyer. Anyway, it was commissioned by a military wife for her husband’s retirement, and it will be at a 100 naval people there, so accuracy is important. Also, it’s 5 feet long.

It’s going to be awesome.

The trophy part of ‘Melo’s cake, which is made of Styrofoam since cake simply cannot do that particular shape, will be filled with caramelos – obviously, the filling will occur after Caramelo has left the bakery, as doing it while he was there would kind of give away the whole secret. The base of the trophy will be the edible cake part, specifically the part Carmelo will be decorating. There will be no trophy in sight, so as to guarantee he won’t know what’s going on.

Ben was the creator of the naval destroyer. He has decided that in defiance of the shape of a naval destroyer, he will make everything out of cake, and that absolutely nothing in the cake will be inedible. Awesome.

Geoff, of course, got the terribly intricate gumpaste piano. Excellent. It’s got an incredible difficulty level, so of course Geoff will rock it out of the park. The cake has to fit exactly with the gumpaste, and gumpaste takes 24 hours to dry, so mistakes are not an option.

Charm City Cakes = Charmed by Carmelo’s height and stardom. Carmelo’s Mother = Starstruck with duff.

Melo gets to paint the base with a brown paint to make it look like wood. He never guessed it was his own cake, so he signed it and requested pictures for when it was complete. For a really tall guy it was pretty cute.

Geoff’s voice has changed inexplicably. Huh. Oh, also, the piano is gorgeous. He piped every single string, he painted every little bit accurately, there were 88 keys in the correct configuration and all the dragees are in the right spots. He has made a perfect piano replica. Geoff is my hero. Geoff is now at Robert and Alton status. The dancing lady is just a shadow on the piano’s lid, but it looks very classy on the top of the piano. It’s a good cake.

On the plaque for the trophy cake? “Thanks for making Baltime great!” – Duff meant Baltimore, but he missed an O and an R. Whoops.

Oh my gosh, that’s cake?! That naval destroyer is 100 percent cake? Oh, my. It’s beautiful, accurate, it’s amazingly made out of cake. Ben has defied gravity with flour and eggs. Geoff doesn’t think that anyone would want to see something they’d seen quite so much ever again (all of the retiree’s 20 years of duty had been on that ship. Or at least all the significant ones), but then decided that eating your workplace must bring some kind of closure. Perhaps there will be a Charm City Cakes building cake someday.

The bride and groom receiving the piano loved it, and the child retinue wanted to know if that was actually cake, or if they would be asked to eat wood later. Never fear, adorably attired children! That’s Duff cake, and that means it isn’t just cake, it’s tasty cake. There might even be marshmallows!

So they were driving the trophy cake – a pretty cool cake in the end, though nowhere near the piano’s awesome – and it broke. They get it back to the bakery, Geof fixes it, and now Duff has 4 minutes to get it to location. How many times can Duff be almost late in a season? He’s got 4 minutes, 3 minutes, 1 minute – and he is there, somehow, on time. Is anyone surprised? It took “Melo” a few minutes to figure out that he had seen that cake before, but his face lit up and he was all, “Yeah, I made that cake. It’s pound cake.”

It was pretty awesome.