Last night I ventured into the universe of cheeseburger pizza, or at least started out with that intent. I didn’t feel like making my own dough, though, so wheat dough from the grocery sufficed.  I set that out to thaw, set Josh on browning ground beef, and got to thinking.

I didn’t really want a red sauce. I’d made this before and I personally felt the red sauce detracted from the cheeseburgery flavor. I did want bacon, for a “bacon cheeseburger” experience. This could only lead to one thing, people. Cream of Bacon.

So I set out. I diced up four pieces of bacon. I fried them until they were crispy and delicious, and strained a little of the fat off – there was a lot. I got cheap bacon. I left a tablespoon or so, added the requisite tablespoon of flour, stirred, and started adding milk. Cream of bacon, people. I added some mozz for the sticky factor, but you couldn’t taste it. There was peppery, salty, delicious bacon, and you could tell. I did add a little more s&p, and some garlic salt, but otherwise it was just one of those magical things that will kill you, make you feel so classy (cream of chicken? nope, cream of bacon. What a ring that has!) but, seriously, it’s made of bacon! Just because it sounds trashy doesn’t mean it’s not delicious. And besides, you’re putting this on snooty white pizza, not the regular red varietal. That makes you sound sufficiently pretentious, right?

I mean, think about it. Spinach and pine nut pizza – white sauce. Chicken and parmesan pizza, white sauce. We’ll ignore the fact that CiCi’s macaroni and cheese pizza also has a white sauce. Perhaps it has no sauce! I mean, it has enough cheese, right? So only the most pretentious pizza toppings are graced with white sauce. Yes, on pizza, chicken is pretentious. Work with me, here.

So I spread that over my baked pizza crust (I always bake them 90% of the way first, otherwise my pizza-stone-lacking pizzas get really soggy in the middle), topped with the finely ground beef and cheddar cheese. Yum. Baked until the cheese was appropriately brown and crisped. Delicious.