Thoughts going into this final (!): Amy has this in the bag. I don’t really care who gets to stay at this point, Amy wins. I have been rooting for Amy since the beginning, so I’m pleased with this. (Amy better darn well not screw up.)

A new competitor, WHAT?! If this rumor is true, I will be so utterly peeved. This person will have been given a bye on seven possible rounds of elimination that I’m pretty sure some actual food network stars wouldn’t have made it through.

They started with an XM radio challenge. The radio hosts had some very bad food available: stale donuts, fruit plate, juice, cheeses, and then they had a microwave. Amy made a ham and cheese bagel and did okay with her interview. JAG made a napolean with an apple and a stale donut and managed to insult the Food Network in his interview, and Rory made asian nachos with crumbled fortune cookies doused in honey and topped with apple. Not sure what’s nacho there, but okay — she also managed to slam Amy, something they’ve all been told to never do since the beginning.

Then, the group had to make their appearances

Amy was worried she’d make a fool of herself. My thoughts? So long as there are no references to Vietnam or Cheez Whiz, she’ll be fine! There weren’t, she totally rocked the house. Rachel kind of shoved herself into Amy’s face in the beginning, talking over her and inserting Rachel’s personality over Amy’s. It got much better when Amy asserted herself toward the end when talking about lentils – and guess who didn’t forget to push NFNS, unlike anyone else last year? That’s right: AMY! You GO girl! (At this point in the evening, Josh is unabashedly raising his fist in praise and cheering as if it were a football game and he were any other guy) I have to say, I love her technique: knowing the fancy French name for stupidly easy food, so you can impress your culinary-challenged friends by saying things like: Here are these beautiful eggs cullotte! Their jaws drop and you laugh at how easy it was.

Rory’s turn. If you don’t do WELL, Rory, you will return to Texas. Well. Not good. Well. Sorry, that’s been bothering me all week. I also hate the phrase Real food for Real people. I’m a real person, you’re a real person, do you know any non-real people? Blue collar cooking is not that, because just because my collar is green (I work at Subway) doesn’t mean I’m not real! Just because someone makes $1,000,000 a year doesn’t mean they aren’t real! It just means they live a little differently than you. Blue collar cooking is much more descriptive and less insulting. Rory and Rachel had a pretty good vibe going together, partially because of the use of Paula-style food. Who puts butter on steak?! The cheese on the potatoes was pretty good, though. I don’t think that Rory did any better than Amy, (and she forgot to plug the NFNS), but it is obvious that Rachel thought differently. I just felt that what Amy made — is more important. It’s more important to see how to make things sound special and fancy so you can pull it out on your friends, while really showing how EASY impressively fancy food is.

Thoughts? If Rory did better than Amy, Jag is going to die. Die.

I will eat my words. JAG is loud. He is exploding on television. His personality just exploded on the inside of my screen, and I’m not sure I want to clean up the mess. Rachel seems to like it, though. JAG also forgot to promote the show, as well as his own Latino fusion.

My scorecard going into evaluation:
Amy: Promoted self, promoted show, tasty food, sincere. A
Rory: Promoted self, fatty food, energy, clicked well with Rachel. B
JAG: Forgot to promote anything, tasty food, energy, took over the stage. B-

Rory stays….JAG better go home. If Amy goes home, I turn off this TV and NEVER WATCH THIS SHOW AGAIN. Rory did not deserve to get first out. And guess what, Amy went home. Thankfully, I didn’t turn off the TV, and the show continued. JAG’s history came out. And he didn’t choose to change it, as we all know – and he chose to resign. And Amy came back to replace him (though it sounded like they were going to otherwise fire him). You can vote Amy into the excellent position of Food Network Star.

I think that Amy should have gotten the win in the beginning, but here it goes. Vote here.

(Vote Amy, you know you want to!)

And don’t forget to watch Wednesday!!!!